Sending My Baby Chicken To College

I woke her up this morning for the first time in years. We had wanted an early start, but now that it was time, I paused.

This is my baby.

I looked into her still-dark room and was unprepared for the sight of her lying on her bed sound asleep, snuggled up to her red baby blanket. Her room was packed and ready to go. She is 18 and leaving for college, and I am the only parent taking her. I feel alone. I want to share this moment-the excitement of such a bittersweet day- with someone who loves her as much as I do, with someone who remembers her first day of pre-school, her first lost tooth, her first homecoming dance.

This is my baby.

On her dresser is a series of pictures of the two of us, taken down from the wall. The cat had nonchalantly sat on the frame and broken the glass. The photos were covered with shattered bits, which is exactly how I feel right then. So excited for her, but all I could do was wonder why, why, why I had ever rushed a single part of our lives. Why did I want the terrible twos to be over? Bike rides? Braces?

This is my baby, and I walked in to wake her, so we could face the day together.

On Being a Mom When Your Smallest Chicken Is Going to College

Certain moments in a mom's life spark reflection. At first, these moments are so important that they get documented in a baby book- you know, baby's first smile, first steps, first words. As time goes on, day-to-day activities take over and only "bigger" things cause a mom to step back and take pause, like the first day of kindergarten (tears). Then sending a child to middle school. (tears, tears). High school graduation day comes along (tears, tears, tears), summer flies by, and suddenly one day you look at your calendar and realize that your smallest chicken is going to college in one week.









A week.









Oh no.









I don't think I'm ready.







I know from talking to my own mom that the strange feeling of being alone in the house (which incidentally I imagine will entail silent ghostlike wanderings down my hallways late at night) will fade within a few weeks, to be replaced by that feeling of freeeeeeeeeeedom which I had looked forward to for ages. In the meantime, I find myself reminiscing, looking at old photographs, wondering where the time has gone.









Kiss your little ones, as they won't stay little forever.