Me

When my girls were much younger, I started a book for them. It was a "fill in the blanks" sort of book that I picked up somewhere, with questions like "what is your favorite song," "what toys did you like as a child" and such. I filled it all out and it is lovely- it contains silly facts about me that I would want my girls to know if I were no longer around for them to ask.

In fact, lately I've been thinking a lot about that sort of thing. I don't know what my grandmother's favorite color was. Or how my grandfather felt when he learned that WWII was over. I want my children to know silly facts about me, like knowing that one of my favorite, happiest random events is when I see a flock of black starlings. No matter when or where I see them, I go back in my mind to a fall day, walking in a Utah field at sunset, and I feel peace. I want my girls to know that one of my all time favorite songs is Ask by the Smiths, but over the past years the songs I related to most were Driftwood by Travis and Broken Girl by She Wants Revenge. I want my chickens to know that each and every day when I drive through the farms at Michigan State University to go to work I am grateful to live in a place that allows a "country drive" in the city.

I want them to know that I saw Rent in New York City several times before actually seeing the second half and I refused to let anyone tell me the ending until I saw it in person. That I love my natural hair color and am scared for the day it will gray and I have to decide whether to dye it or grow old gracefully. That when I am upset I get in my car and drive, music on, just like I remember my mother doing as a child. That I did not realize how lucky I am to have so many siblings until I grew up. That I was too afraid to stay at Aunt Grace's house as a child because she had a bear head hanging on the wall right above the bunk bed and I had to sleep on the top bunk. That my favorite color was always, and still is, red. That I used to have to pretend to be an actress (Ashley Judd, to be specific, back in the day) playing a lawyer when I went to court and sometimes still, if I am nervous, I play that game.

I am terribly, terribly sentimental, aren't I.