On Births, Parties, and Late Nights Alone

My daughter turned 21 last weekend. We planned a party, and, as usual, I went a little overboard- you know, flowers, too many snacks- the sort of thing that only the party host notices. The party was SO much fun, and about 1 a.m. we dropped the new "adult" and her friends off in East Lansing to finish their night without Mom.

I walked in to the dark house - what a mess!- and sat on the sofa. Alone. I had placed baby photos around for the party, and I started remembering the day that Morgan was born...almost exactly 21 years earlier to the hour (Morg was born at 3:11 a.m.). I started to feel very lonely. I stared at the flowers that I had arranged two nights before (more because I like them than because they were a necessary party decor), and my heart began to sink. I tried calling a friend, but he did not pick up. Tears came to my eyes as I realized how alone I am sometimes...how alone we all feel in the world sometimes...especially when it comes to the wee hours of the morning, after the party ends.

Then Morgan called. Almost exactly 21 years to the minute since she was born, she called to tell me thank you for making her birthday so special. Her call meant the world to me, and it reminded me that even when we feel alone, people who love us are only a phone call away.

Re-Do

Have you ever looked back at your day and determined that you could (should) have done about 30 things differently? From the way you handled a meeting, to the tone of an email, to the tone of being a mom? That's me today. I'd like a re-do.

Faith

Life can be crystal clear at 2 a.m. Sometimes, in the early morning hours, far away from home, one remembers that the only way to control the future is to let go and to have a little faith.

The Big Three-Nine

I turned 39 years old today, and it is only fitting that I post to this blog, which I started two years ago when I feared turning 37. This birthday was so much easier than 37. I just don't do well with those 7's!

Today was a perfect day. I spent time with my chickens, saw some old friends (nevermind that they are on tv/movies and are not actually my friends...), enjoyed a very long liesurely bike ride, and did some shopping.

I am content.

The Rocking Chair

An empty rocking chair sits in my room. It is an antique- not at all my usual decor- but I have rocked in it for many years while visiting at my friend Lisa's house. When Lisa and her family recently moved, the rocking chair came to live with me. I think it likes it here. It hasn't complained.

Anxiety and Me

I'm anxious today. I don't like it, and would love tips from the rest of you on how to stop feeling it. Argh!

Fun Traditions

At the end of this month I will head to New Orleans to attend Jazzfest, a multi-stage music festival, for the third consecutive year. I can't wait. I look forward to the event not because I love music (which I do), and not because New Orleans is much warmer than home (which it is). Instead, I look forward to having full days listening to music and sitting in the sun with good friends. Friends are the key. I love the idea of an annual tradition that brings together folks from all over the country who don't have time to regularly schedule visits, and I'm glad that the folks who have been doing this for many more years than I said "the more the merrier!" a few years back and invited an interloper. I can't wait for the fun this year!